Tuesday, March 23, 2010


Not really. But I have to get real. The honeymoon's over. The day-to-day is soooo mundane. I need to fall in love again----with my job. Development directors have an average shelf life of 17 months. That's two full fundraising galas, two grant writing cycles, and the reality of boards and nonprofit life. God help us all. We want more than to survive. We want to thrive. But when you bring in new ideas, nurture them, defend them, recycle them, sell them and measure them, you start to get very tired. Burned out. How many of us have stood in heels and plastically smiled while the chair thanks us for doing OUR JOB, and only a few hours later, kick off the heels and drag garbage cans and tables in our skirts. I'm exhausted. Nervous about this year's goals. Nervous that my office may soon have padded walls. Nervous that there may be no growth or advancement opportunities. Nervous that people will find out that I'm not brilliant. Or perfect. Or sane. Or in love. I need to push through. I've bailed and seen many people bail when this feeling comes over us- like boredom or denial or frustration. We shut down and look for the next good thing; the next fix; the next idea rush; the next person who massages our bruised and ignored egos. But this time, I'm going to stick it out. I'm going to figure out how those other people manage to stay with an organization for years. How they stay committed, focused, engaged, and able to continue to inspire others. Once I solve the mystery of the creative Sybil syndrome, I'll report back. There just might be a cure.


ceejus said...

just keep showing up and ignore your feelings. i'm pretty sure that's the way everyone else does it. it's how i do it. dreams are for down time. no, really.

Roberta Adams said...

I have to agree with ceejus. Dreams are for sleep, and personal time. As we get older we get wiser with our dreams, don't we? We don't give them to anyone else.Down time from the job should be completely away from the job. Put a rubber band on your wrist if you think about your job at home. Really. Hugs.