Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Killing time

I'm obsessed with checking my transcript on Wilmington University's website. My Master's has not been conferred due to a substitution that was made for a required class. The substitution was authorized by the head of the department (and my thesis mentor) because the required class was not in the catalog at the time I was registering. But he has not told the auditor yet. Argh.

If I don't get to walk in Sunday's grad ceremony, I have to leave the family and friend luncheon to go walk in the Bachelor's. Or maybe turn it into a bruncheon instead. I really don't want this to happen, BUT I have a co-worker who hated that I was in school, left early for school and enjoyed school. She said she was sick of hearing me talk about it. This will allow me to talk about it for another 5 months- until I can walk in the May ceremony. How delicious.

5 minutes have passed. I have to check again.

Monday, January 25, 2010


I write a blog every day in my head. I paint pictures in my head. I clean every room. In my head. This is pretty indicative of me. Start something. Learn the technique. Get bored. Move on.

But for once I have finished something. I started it so long ago. I went to college, as planned. Theatre major. Had opportunities, but was too naive to understand what was happening. Fell in love. Quit school. Chose a path of wife and mother. Volunteer. Coach. Talked myself into believing I didn't need to finish.

Each time we moved, I felt myself looking at the local colleges. But young babies and a military salary don't allow much time or money for school. Plus, what would I study? I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I got close a few times. I enrolled at Ohio Dominican, but was disappointed with my options. I was accepted to the Columbus College of Art and Design but knew that driving to Columbus and the hours needed in the studio would be nearly impossible. I enrolled at Ohio University, but Matthew and I decided to move to Delaware, so I "unenrolled."  I always felt unfinished. I wanted my girls to know that I needed an education and so did they. I had bosses tell me that they couldn't pay me a full salary because I didn't have my degree. Twenty years of volunteering, working and parenting. Constantly reading and studying and learning- outside the classroom.

In 2006 I decided I had to try again. I talked to a counselor at Wilmington University and started the Fusion program- finish your Bachelor's in 18 months. Spring 2007, I hit the "delete" button and eliminated all the classes I had signed up for...and I sobbed. I decided to pay for a chiropractor instead of tuition. But by Fall 2007 I couldn't take it anymore. I enrolled full-time. I was writing and reading and discussing and loving it!

On Sunday, I will walk in the graduation ceremony. I will receive my Bachelor's and my Master's. I finished. Not at the top of my class, but with Honors. My thesis on a non-profit management curriculum has the possibility of being implemented at the school someday. I finished that, too. I look around my house, and it's not done. I haven't written in my blog every day. I can't even get IN my studio to paint (though I bought a new canvas). But I am happy....content. I have mentally beaten myself up for twenty five years because of unfinished projects, stories, dreams, weight loss, etc. But I finished my degree, and added a second for good measure. Don't mess with me. Don't pay me less. I am a powerhouse and I am on a roll. Watch out closets and cupboards and paint brushes. You're next.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Let's try this again....2010

So, at the beginning of 2009, my co-workers and I gathered in an unused studio classroom, and created resolution tags. Jane always has these great mailing manila tags, and we brought magazines, pens, stickers and glue sticks to embellish the tags. I can't remember the few that I made- which is pretty sad because they hang on a chandelier above my office desk. But I do remember the main ones: plant flowers (nope), get healthy (still no), and university (either get a job at one or finish my degree). This one I can honestly say I half accomplished. After 24 years, I finished my Bachelor's and Master's. I also surpassed my salary goal. It wasn't a resolution, but having had a disappointing salary issue ealier in the year, I was happy to be making an adult amount of money.
     Now it's the beginning of 2010, and I'm not any thinner or healthier. I never gardened. But I wrote lots of papers and worked with a lot of classmates on team projects, and it really opened my eyes to new ways of solving problems, dealing with different personalities, and digging deeper.
    What's on tap for this year? I'm really not sure. I really have to lose weight. I have to unclutter the house. I want to paint things. I want the girls to find jobs, and schools and happiness. But right now I just want to enjoy. To relax on the weekends with Matthew, go to a movie, read the books I've started, and cook. Savor 2010.