Thursday, April 14, 2011

Building a home

Outside our bathroom window upstairs is a happy spot. The kitchen and family room roof lines form an L which is perfect for the annual starling nest. In the morning, the birds gather the necessary building materials, taking turns adding pieces, removing pieces. I can hear a little bit of squawking, and I wonder if they argue the way we do. Adding on or building a house can be sooo stressful. Imagine doing it every year. Building a home is even more stressful.

The home, the nest, the coccoon. That place you should feel safe and help each other to grow. As much as I adore my husband, we look at building and maintaining a home quite differently. While he is truly the protector, more spiritual or faith-filled than I am, I still feel like the protector of the children's creative souls. I want them to explore their talents, be overwhelmed by the possibilities, fail, fall in and out of love, learn, and not be so eager to grow up. I mean, what adult wouldn't want to go back to the days of learning, playing, partying, exploring, with few responsibilities?

I consider myself a communist mama- From each according to her abilities; To each according to her needs (we are female-centric at our house; or at least, I am). The girls are so similar, but they are very different. Recognizing that some take longer to leave the nest, some need more building materials, some just needed a quick shove, and some just need to sing and sing- I want the freedom to be able to honor all of those needs. Without everyone constantly being reminded of "How are you gonna pay for that?!"

I don't want to put money first. I want to put desire, ambition, talent and passion first (and second and third, etc.). I want my girls to do the same. Yes, we all need to be self-sufficient, but how quickly? My goodness! What's the rush? For any of us?
Let us relax. Let us love with abandon. Let us paint and scream and sing and build homes. Let us just live.

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