Thursday, April 21, 2011

Fog

My brain is in a total fog, and this is not a good time to not be clear-headed. Jeesh. OK. Easter this weekend- three days of cooking and feeling guilty for not fulfilling Lenten promises- again. Eating good food and hating the scale- again.
Next- the fundraiser. Varying levels of control and input from faculty, staff, students, volunteers and board members. 150 items to monitor, pressure to make money, pressure to make things run smoooooothly, pressure to be perfect. Two weeks from today. OMG.
Theeen, while recovering from the fundraiser, Grace, Caprice and Emily come home. Grace and Caprice- for the summer. Emily- for just a few days. Matthew and I both have to work, so that's disappointing, but we'll make the most of our evenings.
Followed by- Christine's shower weekend. Relatives descend to prepare, drink and shower her with gifts. My sister is handling the invitations, RSVPs and catering, but I have a lot to do yet. Including....
cleaning for all of these events. We started to purge, but got as far as leaving the bags by the front door. I step over them every morning and every evening, and they miraculously stay right there.
But with all of this activity, I cannot seem to sit at my desk and just concentrate on work. And when I'm home, I cannot just concentrate on cleaning, or calligraphy or whatever. See? I cannot even finish that thought!
Tomorrow is Good Friday- and we'll all be home for the day. Three days to think about what is truly important. What is truly necessary. What is truly the one thing that deserves my attention. As superficial as my "problems" are compared to others, they still create this fog in my brain. And I as I write this, I suddenly feel calm. I look at the rosary hanging on my computer and remember that there is someone who will share my burden. He may not clean my house, or be able to help me make a lot of money for my school (or myself), but He will always calm me down. And I reeeally need that right now.

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