Monday, January 25, 2010


I write a blog every day in my head. I paint pictures in my head. I clean every room. In my head. This is pretty indicative of me. Start something. Learn the technique. Get bored. Move on.

But for once I have finished something. I started it so long ago. I went to college, as planned. Theatre major. Had opportunities, but was too naive to understand what was happening. Fell in love. Quit school. Chose a path of wife and mother. Volunteer. Coach. Talked myself into believing I didn't need to finish.

Each time we moved, I felt myself looking at the local colleges. But young babies and a military salary don't allow much time or money for school. Plus, what would I study? I didn't know what I wanted to be when I grew up.

I got close a few times. I enrolled at Ohio Dominican, but was disappointed with my options. I was accepted to the Columbus College of Art and Design but knew that driving to Columbus and the hours needed in the studio would be nearly impossible. I enrolled at Ohio University, but Matthew and I decided to move to Delaware, so I "unenrolled."  I always felt unfinished. I wanted my girls to know that I needed an education and so did they. I had bosses tell me that they couldn't pay me a full salary because I didn't have my degree. Twenty years of volunteering, working and parenting. Constantly reading and studying and learning- outside the classroom.

In 2006 I decided I had to try again. I talked to a counselor at Wilmington University and started the Fusion program- finish your Bachelor's in 18 months. Spring 2007, I hit the "delete" button and eliminated all the classes I had signed up for...and I sobbed. I decided to pay for a chiropractor instead of tuition. But by Fall 2007 I couldn't take it anymore. I enrolled full-time. I was writing and reading and discussing and loving it!

On Sunday, I will walk in the graduation ceremony. I will receive my Bachelor's and my Master's. I finished. Not at the top of my class, but with Honors. My thesis on a non-profit management curriculum has the possibility of being implemented at the school someday. I finished that, too. I look around my house, and it's not done. I haven't written in my blog every day. I can't even get IN my studio to paint (though I bought a new canvas). But I am happy....content. I have mentally beaten myself up for twenty five years because of unfinished projects, stories, dreams, weight loss, etc. But I finished my degree, and added a second for good measure. Don't mess with me. Don't pay me less. I am a powerhouse and I am on a roll. Watch out closets and cupboards and paint brushes. You're next.

1 comment:

ceejus said...

so proud of you!!!
i will never pay you less.